I wanna bring you to show and tell
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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