If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I think my moral compass just broke
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
