I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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