Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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