I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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