we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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