so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
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