So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
how drunk are you?
Several
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
