Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
