my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
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It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
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60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
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