Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
