were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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