apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
