shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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