her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
