Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Randomize
