out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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