I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
