Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
