New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
