i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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