yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
