worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
