She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
