Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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