Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
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We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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