His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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