So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Be still, my beating vagina.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
