im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
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My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
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July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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