trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize