Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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