I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
