another moral hangover. fuck.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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