Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  So how was he last night?

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Five-minute foot-long.

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  (508): So how was he last night? (617): Five-minute foot-long. http://tfl.nu/89p0
  Replies (29) Good night (907) Bad night (1557)
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  (714): View more from California

  my room smells like sperm. sweet.

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  (714): my room smells like sperm. sweet. http://tfl.nu/th94
  Replies (14) Good night (1101) Bad night (2658)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."

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  (301): let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child." http://tfl.nu/sqg2
  Replies (18) Good night (5739) Bad night (2875)
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  (760): View more from California

  coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.

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  (760): coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds. http://tfl.nu/by4p
  Replies (14) Good night (4126) Bad night (1416)
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  (845): View more from New York

  No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back

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  (845): No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back http://tfl.nu/c7vm
  Replies (5) Good night (2253) Bad night (866)
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  (949): View more from California

  Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.

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  (949): Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night. http://tfl.nu/dgcc
  Replies (6) Good night (1994) Bad night (737)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good

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  (937): do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good http://tfl.nu/57yk
  Replies (2) Good night (1572) Bad night (712)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.

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  (941): My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order. http://tfl.nu/gp8x
  Replies (7) Good night (657) Bad night (1607)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy

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  (440): I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy http://tfl.nu/cz6x
  Replies (12) Good night (593) Bad night (1022)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?

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  (410): Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel? http://tfl.nu/uv9o
  Replies (7) Good night (646) Bad night (389)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.

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  (716): Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night. http://tfl.nu/ed6n
  Replies (0) Good night (418) Bad night (869)
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  (310): View more from California

  note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.

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  (310): note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning. http://tfl.nu/m5nc
  Replies (1) Good night (345) Bad night (676)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??

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  (706): Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night?? http://tfl.nu/ofn4
  Replies (3) Good night (878) Bad night (178)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.

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  (337): Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you. http://tfl.nu/l52y
  Replies (4) Good night (282) Bad night (405)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.

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  (780): He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over. http://tfl.nu/kpf6
  Replies (1) Good night (539) Bad night (113)

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