Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
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I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
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I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere