update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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