Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives

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  (404): after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives http://tfl.nu/slpi
  Replies (11) Good night (3000) Bad night (1124)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker

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  (215): if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker http://tfl.nu/asrh
  Replies (31) Good night (683) Bad night (4933)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.

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  (248): I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial. http://tfl.nu/t70i
  Replies (12) Good night (7089) Bad night (942)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.

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  (404): my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material. http://tfl.nu/r91w
  Replies (15) Good night (12011) Bad night (978)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat

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  (440): the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat http://tfl.nu/81cx
  Replies (11) Good night (2986) Bad night (1335)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.

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  (920): Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit. http://tfl.nu/du3n
  Replies (1) Good night (1045) Bad night (2139)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.

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  (573): You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up. (816): Sorry about that. Except for the cookies. http://tfl.nu/ub9m
  Replies (6) Good night (3008) Bad night (678)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this

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  (601): It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this http://tfl.nu/qp1v
  Replies (9) Good night (740) Bad night (3489)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?

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  (334): Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is? http://tfl.nu/g1vx
  Replies (7) Good night (2740) Bad night (786)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty

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  (509): I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty http://tfl.nu/7xz1
  Replies (6) Good night (2153) Bad night (513)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry

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  (804): Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry http://tfl.nu/mjn0
  Replies (5) Good night (1443) Bad night (576)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.

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  (770): The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten. http://tfl.nu/cbpd
  Replies (2) Good night (1083) Bad night (444)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  sounds about right

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  (215): judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend. (609): sounds about right http://tfl.nu/kfa3
  Replies (0) Good night (1233) Bad night (362)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.

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  (281): There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant. http://tfl.nu/kh9k
  Replies (0) Good night (331) Bad night (201)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me

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  (514): In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me http://tfl.nu/f4ks
  Replies (0) Good night (634) Bad night (168)

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