ADVERTISEMENT

• (330): View more from Ohio

  I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .

  Fav 12 1950 2724

  share tweet
  

• (850): View more from Florida

  come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.

  Fav 14 889 3716

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (404): View more from Georgia

  Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you

  Fav 20 4189 812

  share tweet
  

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.

  Fav 12 4048 774

  share tweet
  
• 

  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (502): View more from Kentucky

  After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.

  Fav 5 4135 1095

  share tweet
  

• (626): View more from California

  obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that

  Fav 9 2008 863

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (204): View more from Manitoba

  God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels

  Fav 12 1287 777

  share tweet
  

• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?

  (1-608): View more from Wisconsin

  Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat

  Fav 3 941 694

  share tweet
  

• (704): View more from North Carolina

  I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"

  Fav 3 739 875

  share tweet
  
• 

  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (253): View more from Washington

  There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.

  Fav 0 575 397

  share tweet
  

• (207): View more from Maine

  We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.

  Fav 0 673 386

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (940): View more from Texas

  This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.

  Fav 5 378 559

  share tweet
  

• (419): View more from Ohio

  He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.

  Fav 2 620 351

  share tweet
  

• (850): View more from Florida

  Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you

  Fav 0 117 80

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (248): View more from Michigan

  Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.

  Fav 0 3 37

  share tweet
  

Randomize