Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  nut hugger

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  (313): nut hugger http://tfl.nu/mtjw
  Replies (4) Good night (930) Bad night (935)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.

  (406): View more from Montana

  Ok, i'm coming over

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  (320): It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now. (320): He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage. (406): Ok, i'm coming over http://tfl.nu/vi8g
  Replies (6) Good night (3927) Bad night (575)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me

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  (973): RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO (908) dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me http://tfl.nu/s889
  Replies (27) Good night (4146) Bad night (952)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken

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  (508): you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken http://tfl.nu/rlnm
  Replies (28) Good night (809) Bad night (2943)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?

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  (850): when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children? http://tfl.nu/iefn
  Replies (26) Good night (1261) Bad night (5987)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.

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  (360): not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible. http://tfl.nu/ukgo
  Replies (20) Good night (4490) Bad night (809)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.

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  (318): the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese. http://tfl.nu/xs1m
  Replies (7) Good night (3476) Bad night (897)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.

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  (605): I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong. http://tfl.nu/jd9v
  Replies (6) Good night (3073) Bad night (1011)
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  (209): View more from California

  This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!

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  (209): This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ! http://tfl.nu/qsnl
  Replies (7) Good night (1831) Bad night (573)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.

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  (603): Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic. http://tfl.nu/b5pl
  Replies (2) Good night (1832) Bad night (547)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.

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  (404): Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on. http://tfl.nu/451u
  Replies (7) Good night (711) Bad night (824)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.

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  (617): We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this. http://tfl.nu/dyzt
  Replies (8) Good night (1183) Bad night (463)
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  (530): View more from California

  I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.

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  (530): I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century. http://tfl.nu/blji
  Replies (4) Good night (602) Bad night (268)
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  (310): View more from California

  That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.

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  (310): That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better. http://tfl.nu/qdjx
  Replies (1) Good night (473) Bad night (605)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.

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  (+61): The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night. http://tfl.nu/ec1i
  Replies (0) Good night (808) Bad night (499)

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