The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
