guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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