i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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