Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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