Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
