She is in my trunk
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
