She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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