i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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