Please, let me fuck your mom
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
worst night to have a conscience
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
