Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
