i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
