her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
