He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
