I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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