been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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