Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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