I don't think brook has ever known best
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
