You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
