So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
