Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize