i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
