I heard we made out
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
